When the clock struck twelve this morning, I was in an Uber, going up the dusty road that leads to my workplace. (I’m an engineer by day, an editor by night and a writer/waitress/manager/consultant/anything-that-pops-up in between.) I kept staring at the time willing it to slow down just long enough for me to arrive there. If I wasn’t going to be at church (or partying, or sleeping, or just relaxing), I could at least be with other familiar faces who weren’t already in the car, that is my brother, two new-found cousins, and of course, the Uber driver. Sadly, time doesn’t bend to my will. 

So there I was, in the passenger seat, watching a woman in a white dress trying so hard to get into a taxi. She looked tired but somewhat determined. In that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if she, like me, was trying to get somewhere before midnight. I’m sure. What other reason could there be with only a few seconds to midnight. But she, like myself, already knew we had lost against time.

What a way to start the new year, and the new decade? With crushed hopes.

Life.

I did get to my destination and sold drinks for the next two and half hours. it was just another night. I was just doing my job. Nobody cared where I was when the clock struck midnight, or who I was with. Nobody cared if I just wanted to go home and snuggle with my pillow and blankets. Nobody cared if I hadn’t had any time to myself in weeks and it is slowly wearing me out. Nobody cared. What they did care about was their orders. Everyone cared that I had their orders right, and smiled. They cared if I didn’t serve them fast enough. They cared if I had ran out of whatever they were asking for. People cared.

The Irony.

I am not about to throw myself a pity party. I don’t have the energy to go through with it even if I wanted to.

I am glad that no matter where I was when the clock stuck twelve, I wasn’t alone.  I was with family and a decent stranger, which is a lot more than I had last year anyway. I’m glad that I had a place to go to after all was said and done, to a home full of love in spite of everything we have been through. I’m glad that I didn’t almost die on my way home when the driver fell asleep behind the wheel a couple of times.

I am thankful for a whole lot of things. I could write a post about finding love or losing love… or both. I could go on a rant about family and my support system and how they have all been there when I needed it most. I am truly thankful for all my experiences thus far – the good, the bad, the ugly… and the ones my brain has erased from memory altogether.

So Happy New Year, lovely person reading this! 🙂

Regardless of how your year started, I believe that the rest is really up to you. We have a little over three hundred days, I’m sure we can make it count!

With everything that’s going on lately, I don’t know what this year has in store for me, to be honest, but I’m looking forward to it. Are you?

why?

–  Nyameba