There’s a moment in each person’s life when you let someone down – the last person in the world you want to let down. That one person. If you haven’t already let them down, I truly hope you never do. It is one of the most heart-breaking experiences in life. I would know… I just did.

Nana and I have been great friends for… practically our whole lives, and best friends for the most part of our adult lives. We’ve been more honest with each other than we have ever been with anyone else. He doesn’t know this, but he taught me to say “I love you” to a friend and mean it.

And I hurt him.

A lot.

And I am so sorry.

I didn’t mean to. But then again, who ever plans on hurting the ones they love?

But then again, who ever plans on hurting the ones they love?

I hurt me and then I hurt us. I can easily deal with hurting myself. Pain and I have a longstanding committed relationship. But I can’t tell you that. I never wanted you to know how broken I was. You were the only one who saw me whole and flawless and I’d have rather died than shown you the jagged pieces.

How was I to know that those same pieces would stick out and

I… I was wrong. I was scared. I thought if you found out how truly damaged I was, you would

I was wrong. I was scared. I thought if you found out how truly damaged I was, you would never look at me the same way again. That I’d lose the respect, love and adoration I’d found in you.

I should have trusted in you. In us.

Today, all my fears, I saw them come alive when you looked at me.

Sorry does not cut it. I know.

But right now, all I have to offer, is an apology and a broken heart. And I don’t even have the right to ask you to accept it.

And I don’t even have the right to ask you to accept it.

I am sorry, Nana. Truly.

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