What is a safe space?

In my opinion, a safe space is an environment, place, or person… a space, in which one feels safe or comfortable enough to exist, talk, sing, dance, or just be quiet… without fear or tension or judgement.

a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.

Whether or not we choose to accept it, we live in a very sensitive world. The more aware we are becoming, the easier it is to take offence regarding things we would have otherwise brushed away as ‘one of those things’.

The need for a safe space to exist is even more important now. A place where everyone can just be. Whether or not you agree with the choices or lifestyle of the next person, you can look beyond your principles (or lack of it) and treat them with love and respect. A safe space.

I grew up in constant search of a space like that. Where I could exist without fear. Where I wasn’t afraid to ‘step on a few toes’. I grew up in a large enough family and I hated people all up in my business because they can be a bit mean, y’know? And they say all these things that hurt your feelings and cause you to doubt yourself all the time. And just when you start feeling good again, they try to bring you back down.

Like almost every family, mine had its own set of problems. Like how my parents fought ever so often. Sometimes, we would be called to play mediators. We would listen to both sides of the story and I was called to play Judge. I never understood why I was old enough to play judge but not old enough to join in ‘important conversations’ but that was my life. I took my job seriously. If I said someone needed to apologise, they did. If I said they were being irrational, they were. I had to use logic but also understand everyone’s point of view in order to be fair.

I never truly understood how much influence this has had on my life till recently when I found myself always asking to look at things differently. It has also thrown me in a lot of unhealthy situations where I kept making excuses for the other person because “We don’t know the full story” or “We have to understand where (s)he is coming from.” I have been taken for a ride, I have had my feelings stepped on and my trust soaked in mud… I have been hurt a lot of times.

But… it has also allowed me have a lot of healthy relations with people from all walks of life. It has taught me to keep my not-so-kind opinions to myself and to refrain from throwing punches anytime I feel like it.

Though I grew up having a lot of prejudices about friendships from having been hurt one too many times, my adult life has been full of healthy relationships. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my reward for not losing my hope/faith in the human race. A part of me is convinced that it’s because I’m making an effort to become a much better individual and I am putting in the work now.

Have I been misunderstood or taken for granted or disappointed or heartbroken even after all of this? Yes. Lots of times. Sometimes, all by the same person. Am I tired of getting hurt? Yes please. Do I keep on loving anyway? Yes. Why? Because… there are still a lot of amazing people out there who deserve all the love and positivity I have to offer. And even if they don’t, that’s their problem.

I have a charge to keep. To Love God and love my neighbour (which is basically the entire human race, because let’s face it; the world is a global village). So that is what I am going to do.

Hi. My name is Nana. You are welcome to my Safe Bubble. It has taken me quite some time to reach this moment, but I’m glad  we’re here. I look forward to sharing my thoughts, fears, ideas and beliefs with you. You may or may not agree with all of them. That’s okay. It’s our differences that distinguish us and make us unique individuals… human.


Dr Nyameba 💜

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