I know you’re sceptical about this
I know that you do not believe me when I tell you this but
I love you
I know that anyone who ever told you they loved you
Just wanted to use you
But when I declare my love
I do not mean that
I want to warm your bed
Well, I do
But me telling you this goes beyond my sexual urges
I cherish you
With every ounce of my being.
You ask me if I am sure,
If I know what I mean
I am, and
You think I realized this yesterday?
You think that my love for you is a recent event?
It’s been around for a while.
I have just been waiting
Not for the right time
I doubt that exists
I was waiting for the feelings to go away
To rid myself of the burden love carries –
Especially one sided love.
I wanted to be sure that I had not mistaken infatuation for love.
Yet here I am – baring my heart before you.
So know that
Even if I didn’t start with love,
I sure ended with it.
I love you.
When I express my love for you,
You shift and shuffle
And your eyes plead with me
To call it a joke gone badly
Because you cannot seem to wrap your head
Around the fact that
I am in love you.
Because you think that you’re broken
Yet you’re nothing short of perfection
Or you think that I’ll break you
But I can’t even imagine a world where that is acceptable
I know that somewhere inside your head is the thought
That perhaps I think I love you
Because I have a soft spot for all things broken
You are not a thing
Nor are you broken
That saying you are broken allows you to act broken
All defensive with walls and everything
I understand that
That you’re scared being whole makes you vulnerable
Means you can get hurt
Means you can be broken
So brokenness is a defence mechanism
And your fear motivates you to keep up the walls
That you built a long time ago
And you’ve kept them up for so long
You actually believe in the lies you’ve told yourself
But I still love you
And if perchance
You are broken
I’ll find glue
There is no excuse you’d give me
That I have not already thought of
There is no worst case scenario
That I have not done a mental simulation of
I am not walking away
I am not giving up
I love you
All of you
Dr Nyameba 💜
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