Almighty Grandma and the almost arrest

My mother is the first born of her mother and she gave birth really early so my siblings and I are the first grandchildren of my mother. We are the experiment grandchildren of the experiment child (so to speak).

I have so many stories starring my grandmother and all her wonders. My favourite however, is the one where she thought she was going to be arrested.

So my grandmother is strong and fierce with a touch of crazy. The perfect combination to inspire the future generation, if you ask me. My grandmother can walk into any room to get what she wants. Like the kitchen of a respectable restaurant to demand for her food. Or the office of some top executive to secure a job for her child. If she sets her sights on something, she actively works towards it.

One Friday afternoon I managed to convince an aunt of mine to send me home. It was one of those days where everything had gone wrong and I just needed to get out. After all this, I had to listen to my aunt go on about how the world didn’t revolve around me and that I just needed to toughen up. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that in a few moments, I would be in my house taking a nap after washing all the stress away in the shower.

Imagine my surprise when I walk into a house I expected to meet empty, to see my grandmother sitting in a corner, attempting to blend in with the shadows. She thought I was someone else. The moment she realized it was me, however, she came out and hugged me. She said, “Nana, they want to arrest me.” I was so confused. Who wanted to arrest her? Why would they want to anyway? She never committed any crimes, as far as I was concerned. I told her to give me a few minutes to freshen up then she would walk me through it all.

The thing is, as much as I needed to be there for her, I had to take care of me first. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in the right head space to be of any use whatsoever. Many a time, we try to outdo ourselves because we are afraid of letting down the people we care about. However, we must always remember that, we are much more capable of helping others if we take care of ourselves too.

Anyway, twenty minutes later, I was ready to listen. Grandma had started producing these beverages a while ago and according to the law, she was supposed to have acquired two authorizations. However, she was aware of only one, so the governing body of the one she lacked was looking for her to penalize. Okay. But why was she hiding when I opened the gate? Did she think they knew our house?


I couldn’t believe that the strong, formidable, woman I knew was shaken by this. I was young and naïve. I think I know better now.

After she had gone through her story. She said, ‘Nana, when your siblings come, let’s go out. At least I would spend my last day with my grandchildren having fun.’ I thought she was being dramatic. I couldn’t imagine a world where my grandma was arrested for anything. No!

We did go out though. I don’t remember what we ate or did, I just know that I had such a great time, and a day that seemed so terrible at first, wasn’t so bad anymore. In the end, she was not arrested. I’m not sure the details of that affair, but it involved wit and mercy.

Today, my grandmother is hiding from COVID-19 from the comfort of her home. She understands the risk involved so she has resorted to insulting the virus every chance she gets, especially because she had to celebrate her birthday with very few people instead of the entire congregation at church.

Bloody virus.

Dr Nyameba 💜


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