I forgot why I started. I forgot what brought me here. I forgot that not too long ago, the only reason why I did this was so I could talk to you. I forgot.

I got distracted by the lights. The hype. The compliments. The nice words. I got distracted by the reactions. Then I forgot. I forgot that long before they saw me, you knew me. And you loved me. You chose me. Even when I didn’t choose myself.

I forgot.

Forgive me, Lord. This is all about you. It has always been about you. Your love, Your kindness, Your will. And if that bothers people. There’s only so much I can control in this life, and people were never on that list anyway.

It’s been a rough couple of days… weeks… months. It’s been bleak. And dark. And lonely.

I miss you. I miss us. I miss our fights. I miss the banter. I miss knowing, absolutely knowing, you had the wheel. I miss our long talks and our pregnant silences. I miss doing stuff and knowing it’s all you. I miss… Us.

I love you. Not the cliche. The verb. The one I’m openly indifferent, and secretly adore. I love You, Lord.

It’s good to be back.

Nana Agyeiwaa Nyameba

P. S. Fave song this week is To You by Maverick City. It is literally playing right now and… well, you can click on the link and find out! 💜

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