Whenever someone tells me they are going through a tough time, I either
- Offer words of encouragement
- Suggest possible solutions
- Make a joke to lighten the mood
- Change the subject, or
- All of the above
These are really good tactics depending on the situation, you know. However, when I am going through it, I either
- Keep busy so I don’t have to deal while telling everyone “I’m fine!” with a biiggg smile,
- Pretend it doesn’t exist hoping it will go away
- Pray about it
- Bring up a lot of past experiences to prove my alleged crappy luck, or
- All of the above
Would you look at that?
It is always easier to be there, to be kinder, to lend a helping hand, to give my all, and to offer encouragement to others than it is to do all these for myself. It is easier to spend time worrying about all the possible outcomes of the situation than to actually do something about it.
Now, I know we know this. There are so many books and resources which go into detail about being kinder to ourselves and being half as decent to ourselves as we are to others. I am not even going to try to sing the same tune because… well, I just am not. What I am going to ask is…Do you know this saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonades”?
It’s such a ‘go-getter’ quote. I just love it! Whenever I look back on my life and all the not-so-nice things I’ve experienced and how they have made me into a much more considerate person because of that, I think of this quote.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonades!
According to my theory of life, there are two things involved in the process of realising this.
First, we have to acknowledge the lemons in our lives. This implies that, we need to know what lemons are and how to identify them.
Second, do we know how to make lemonade? We might have to learn a skill (or two) involved in making said lemonade.
What this means is that, we will need to have honest conversations with ourselves. We would have to ask questions like?
- What is the lesson to be learned from this situation?
- Am I interpreting this situation to suit the narrative of “my life sucks and I have the worst of luck”?
- Is there a more positive way I can view this situation?
- Can I turn this into something productive?
The list is endless. I believe that once we start asking the right questions, we will receive the insight we always seem to help others get.
One thing I love about this year is how it is allowing all of us to openly admit that it’s not easy. It’s like for the first time in so long, we are understanding that it is okay to not have it all together. It is okay to be figuring things out. It is okay to simply make it through (without having anything to show for it).
It is okay to not be okay.
What matters is, the questions you’re entertaining through it all.
What question are you asking yourself this season?
Nana Agyeiwaa Nyameba
P. S. Do It Again by Elevation Worship. That’s it. That’s the comment.