God. Shouts.

Have you ever heard the voice of God?

I remember the first time I asked God for direction. I had heard that He always responded – something about a still small voice or a stirring in your spirit. I was sceptical. I needed direction, urgently, and the last thing I wanted was to have my scepticism get in the way of my answer. So at the end of the prayer, I said something along the lines of, “Father, I know you will respond, but I don’t know if I will hear you. So instead of your still small voice, I want you to shout. I want it to be so hard to deny that you’re speaking. I want your response to be loud and clear that there will be no room to doubt.”

My answer didn’t come immediately. Or at least I didn’t hear it right away. I kept repeating the last part of my prayer everytime I prayed. I was ready to listen. Then one day, it hit me. For about a week or so, everywhere I went, almost every conversation around me was about my prayer request, and all the conclusions were the same. My teachers, leaders, books I was reading… they were all in sync. I couldn’t even call any of them coincidences anymore. God was clearly speaking to me. Shouting, actually. Loud and clear. Just like I’d asked.

Over the years, there were times I prayed this prayer and didn’t hear anything. And there were times I did. I’m beginning to think the difference is my readiness to listen. God always answers, but am I willing to listen? Am I willing to acknowledge the response instead of making excuses for how it could just be a coincidence or my weird thoughts again? Am I ready to pay attention and not allow my thoughts, fears and circumstances to block the sound of His voice?

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine and she mentioned how she was reading her prayer journal the day before, and how she noticed that God has answered all her prayers requests from last year. I was amazed. Look at me, I couldn’t even remember what mine were a month ago, to even know if the ones from last year had been answered or not! So I tried starting one.

First of all, it is quite amazing how there’s always something to pray about. Like every single day. Even on the days when I don’t feel like praying, I choose to just give thanks. There’s a lot to give thanks for too!
The downside is, you could easily feel overwhelmed.
Also, there’s the question of “how vulnerable should I get with a journal?” If you’re like myself and your privacy is very important to you, a journal might feel like such risky business. Someone could easily read your private conversations with God… the only time you allow yourself to be utterly vulnerable. It can be unnerving. I would suggest saving the document in an e-vault or one of those secret folders or put a password on it, if you’re into typing. If not, you could also write in an unassuming book and try not to be too discreet about it. Pray over it too. That it be hidden in plain sight like the Garden of Eden.
Let me know how that goes!

Today, I don’t ask God to shout. Well, not as often. I think he already knows how I feel about whispering. Sometimes, my response comes during a sermon I watched “randomly” because I couldn’t sleep, or on sunday when I almost slept through the live broadcast. Other times, it’s intentional, like while I’m researching on the topic or having a conversation about it. Or even during church on Sunday when the preacher says it twice for emphasis (or in my case, so I don’t miss it).

God is truly mysterious. He likes to keep things spicy in our relationship. I love that about him. Don’t get me wrong though, sometimes, it can  get a little *too spicy* and I feel like my whole world is falling apart. In times like these, I remember that He’s right here with me and I hold on to that. I seek comfort in him. And he, in turn, helps me to hang in there till the pain subsides (giving me milk along the way so I don’t pass out from the heat).

Talk about tough love😅

Nana Agyeiwaa Nyameba

P. S. I Will Sing by Don Moen has all the words I want to say when I can’t seem to say anything. I hope you like it.

One response to “God. Shouts.”

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