I…

Don’t feel like being alive today. It’s hard. The sun is scorching. There’s no breeze. I couldn’t pay the driver before he left so he probably thinks I’m a fraudulent person. I zoned out of Prayer Meeting so many times, I wondered why I was even there today. Then I felt guilty that I thought that way. Then I invited a friend over and then hated the fact that they came.

I…

Don’t want to do anything today. It’s hard. I woke up way past noon wondering what pastime I should indulge in today. Nothing seemed appealing. I settled for watching a show. The entire drama just pissed me off. Then I decided to cook, but I just couldn’t garner enough energy to stay through to the end.

I…

Don’t think I want to go through today. There’s still no proper job. My rent’s up and I have to move. My family is going through some kind of season where we all just… take each day as it comes. I don’t know how everyone’s dealing with stuff but I don’t ask them because I’m not sure I’ll be able to be there for every single one of them. It’s hard.

I…

Don’t have a song I want to share today. I pretty much avoided listening to music today because I don’t have the energy to pay attention. I tried to say a prayer but it ended up being about… the hot sun, the pimples on my face and how I wish I had bottles of ice tea in my room. I guess I don’t have the energy to talk about everything else. It’s hard.

I…

Am listening to this instrumental/relaxation/meditation music. There are no words, and for the most part, I don’t know what song is being played so I don’t try to focus on the music. This is perhaps the longest period of time today where I am doing something and haven’t zoned out or gotten frustrated or decided it was too hard and ‘rescheduled’. Thank God!

I…

Am glad the day is over. It was hard. Someway, somehow, I made it through. For that, Lord, I am grateful.

Nana Agyeiwaa Nyameba

P. S. I think I should share the instrumental tune I am listening to. I found it about a year or two ago and I… Am glad I did. Click here to check it out.